BEHIND EVERY BEAUTIFUL THING THERE IS SOME KIND OF PAIN …THIS STORM TOO SHALL PASS:: A Medical Marijuana Testimonial by Ganja Goji, for what its worth. June 10, 2013. Although Medical Marijuana has been legal in the State of AZ for quit sometime obtaining, access has been impossible for me, until a month ago. I cannot drive to the Big City so I was overjoyed to finally find local access. It only took about 2 weeks to get my card, however during that wait time I had to still look at the mountain of prescriptions I take everyday and wonder if I will be stigmatized by the new lifestyle I am about to undertake.As I began to confide in family members and some friends, that I am becoming a Medical Marijuana Patient, I found very little compassion and a whole lot of Rejection. That’s ok because I have been permanently and totally Disabled since 1996. I actually became disabled in 1990, but pushed my self to the brink of collapse to maintain employment. Disability pay sucks but hey, the hours are great. LOL Two events occurred during that 6-year gap.
Already a disabled citizen, with the License Plate to display my status, I was rear ended on Interstate Hwy 101, in CA. I had stopped for a 5-car pile up in front of me, Thanking the Good Lord above that I stopped in the knick of time as to not be involved. Suddenly I was slammed so hard in the rear end; the other driver pushed me through the pile of wrecked cars and then ½ mile down the high way, with both my feet on the brake. It was terrorizing, trying to comprehend why this ass hole was not taking his damn foot off the gas and was continuing to bulldoze me. He unhooked himself from my rear bumper and drove on as I glided into a ditch.
My saving grace was another driver, who was just getting off work as a nurse at the hospital. She witnessed my whole experience and chased behind me. She got out of her car, with supplies in hand. She asked me quickly “why are you disabled?” A back injury was my response. She took out duct tape and taped me very tightly to my seat and told my to try not to move, until paramedics arrive. Ok bottom line is now I have a second severe back injury and whiplash.
Oh and the psycho dude who hit me, well a huge chuck of my bumper went through his engine and he broke down about 5 miles from the scene. With a description by the Nurse Angel, he was arrested and booked. If it had not been for her I would probably not been able to walk again. I spent over a year in a wheel chair.
I suffer from neuropathy, a condition of numbness and tingling of the upper and lower extremities, due to spinal cord trauma. Whiplash is no joke. I have had three surgeries for pinched nerves, which only traded one kind of pain for another. Due to spinal degeneration from my injuries, I also have Cervical Spondylosis; a condition where the fluid filled protective casing surrounding the spinal cord begins to narrow. It should be nice and round, mine is shaped like a half moon. As a result of this, I have additional pressure on my spinal cord 24/7, the worst symptom is Sciatic nerve damage, muscle spasms, and severe back and leg pain, which makes it almost impossible to walk some days. For the most part, I am a gimp. Oh well c'est la vie (say la vie)
My goal in becoming a Medicinal Marijuana patient is to stop taking, pain relievers which have a whole set of their own side affects. Example: 2005 while on Oxycontin medication, which made me feel very off balance, not to mention it is extremely constipating, I stepped out my front door, lost my balance, and broke my leg in three places. Oh, it did not hurt all that bad cause I was popping the Hillbilly Heroin. Nevertheless, being in a leg cast for a year really sucked. I really got fat
I am also on muscle relaxers for severe muscle spasms. I am on high doses and am now informed by my Doctor, that I am becoming immune to them, and they are not working. My doctor who barely speaks English and I often wonder if he even understands English because he never comprehends half of what I am saying, and shows no compassion. I left there feeling condescended and hopeless as usual. Fuck this dude, How many Charlie horses at 3 am has he had? Medicare/Medicaid Patients do not have the privilege of getting decent Doctors. In my experience anyway.
Permanent and Total Disability: an over the top label, that is the end of any career dreams you have ever had. In 1996, I was mentally and emotionally damaged by the traumatic loss of my 21-year-old only son. Many Mothers loose children every day, but finding the corpse is a completely different set of mental damages. In the blink of an eye, my life changed dramatically. So now, I add PTSD to my list of ailments. Along with this mental Illness came another long list of mental pharmaceuticals. The roller coaster ride of prescriptions is enough to really make a person feel crazy. There is no cure for PTSD but the Psyche Docs like to keep writing those prescriptions. In 2005, I made a very serious attempt to end my life. After 4 days on Life support in the ICU, the mental medications increased. Bullshit on those I stopped taking psycho drugs after 10 years of ups and downs.
OK the grass roots (pardon the pun) after16 years of suffering, physically, mentally and emotionally; I finally received my Medical Marijuana Card on June 06, 2013. I visited a Dispensary on June 09. They were so helpful and compassionate. In addition, I purchased three different strains for my medical conditions. I am a 60-year-old woman and for the first time in my life, I bought a Bong at the head shop. The owner of the Head shop was compassionate and amusing.
Ok this whole adventure was quite expensive on my limited income but I am hoping to make the marijuana, I purchased last for a month.
I threw 10 bottles of prescription medication in my desk drawer and smoked a pinch of MM stain #1. Ahhh ok that was nice. I am a retired Graphic Artist, pushed out of my profession due my disabilities that make me too slow to qualify for employment. I did not get any instant kinda rush or high from that first smoke. However, I did find myself at my computer creating some Graphic Art for about 4 hours, without breaking focus or concentration. I loved my profession, It was a great loss, however I still enjoy creating graphics. On this first day of becoming a Stoner, I was really enjoying myself and not focusing on physical aches and pain.
Usually I take a nap around 12 or 1pm. Well I did not feel hung over from prescription medications and was not in the mood to go nap e nap. Although My PTSD causes sleep disturbances, I was not tired so I smoked strain #2. Ahh again I am feeling pretty darn good. I still felt aches in my body, but my mind seemed to be coping better with the pain, instead of harping on them, so the pain felt quit dulled. Walking was still difficult, but I was in a good mood.
I did some chores and while I was being physically active, my mind was creating ideas. So, I went back to the computer and decided to set up a Blog to share my new Adventure with others. Setting up and designing Web pages is not a simple task, but I enjoy doing them (I have a few floating around on the Net). Unlike many of the rumors about how Marijuana screws with Cognitive function, I found no difficulty with focus, concentration or thought process while under the influence.
I had an enjoyable day for the first time in a very long time, a soak in the Jacuzzi and I am off to bed, Smoking strain #3 and hoping for a good night sleep. Well that did not happen, I experienced my same broken sleep patterns. However, my attitude was better. My anxiety levels were not through the roof and I did not feel the usual anger associated with PTSD.
Out of 10 prescription medications, I normally take, on my first Day of Medical Marijuana, I only took TWO. Neurontin, which stops the irritating numbness and tingling sensations in my extremities. It is a maintenance medication and does not cause any type of “High” or side affects, which comes from other medications I usually take, however it does increase the effects of other medications so I am being very careful with my cannabis intake.
I did not take a sleep medication, which makes me feel drunk, hung over and off balance. I used to take the Tiger Woods famed prescription; Ambien. I did a lot of unhealthy sleepwalking and once woke myself up attempting to drink a large glass of pine sol I had poured, the smell snapped me awake. There have been times I got up in the middle of the night and fell into a wall trying to get to the bathroom, on a constant cocktail of pain meds combined with sleep meds, combined with anti-anxiety meds.
Scary shit. I opted for a low dose of Klonopin at 3am on my first, Medical Marijuana, adventure day.
Within an hour I was back to sleep and awoke in the morning feeling refreshed. Normally I am a freaking Bear in the morning from my Doctor recommended prescription Cocktail; I take just to cope with my life. The worst thing anyone can do is utter a word to me when I wake up, or they would feel my wrath. I am not a violent person, but I can have a very vulgar mouth and my words can be razor sharp.
However on the morning of Day 2, my state of mind is light hearted and hopeful. I am writing this to you on day 3. So far this morning I have not toked my new meds, but I slept well again last night and have yet to pull those eight other bottles of prescriptions out of the drawer. Constant suffering can cause F-bombs to fly, without warning, of my mouth.
As to all the “na-sayers” who are suppose to love and care about me I raise a middle finger to salute them and am walking proud in my decisions. They have never walked a day in my shoes. They can take their closed minds, phony Christian values and stick em where the sun doesn’t shine. This MaMa is suffering a lot less and I have no intention to suffer for anyone who is against Medical Marijuana.
Marijuana is a pure form of herbal medication. Yo Bible thumping Family of mine, do you know how many times I felt abandoned by God. I do not believe Marijuana is going to make me grow horns or be unsafe around my grandchildren. I think I will roll a big fat one with a Bible page. Not really.. LOL
I believe good-hearted people are compassionate of others and naturally appreciate humankind. Bad-hearted people are evil to the core, regardless of what drugs they take, they are not changed by the drug, simply in an enhanced to act upon an evil deeds festering within their souls, and they seek to destroy humankind. I have written a 400-page autobiography about being surrounded by pure evil and remaining good hearted in the center of many human made tornadoes. Ok Trippy deep thinking.
I am going to continue to Blog my Journey for the purpose of connecting with others and help them take a leap of faith into Herbal Medication remedies. Maybe this will be the final chapters of my memoirs thus far.
Regardless of what others think of us, we have to take care of ourselves first and if anyone tells you different put them and their opinions behind you. You are worth more.
Peacefulness: is not a place where there is no noise, trouble, or where hard work does not exist. Peace can be found be in the midst of all these things & more.
Quiet the chatter of your mind, seek not a spiritual light. Let your spiritual light shine from within your soul, become light, and be in the midst of all things with a calm heart. Peace shall then come to you from within.
The Eye of Truth is Always Watching you.
Instead of seeking a spiritual Path, stand where you are. Create your own path. BE your spiritual Path.
I want to thank and let you all know I sincerely appreciate everyone who was involved in getting the work done to make this form of medication available to suffering patients. Find a link to my Blog on my FB page and send me a F/R.. ♥GG
Who better to promote Legalization of medical Marijuana than Patients who are overcoming adversity and suffering. Follow me on this New Adventure here - http://ganjagoji.blogspot.com/ or on FB https://www.facebook.com/kingman.homehelpers
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