The Art of Manipulation

Masters of Exploitation, or Social Engineering

Have you ever been the Victim of a loved one who Bamboozled, Conned, Burned and Churned you inside out? I have, I know all too well that Con Artists are masters at instilling a sense of fear, shame, and guilt in their victims. 

They are masters of domination and intimidation, artfully weaving me into their script. They were masters at sizing me up to be sure I would meet the criteria "as their prey".

The art of manipulation is about how people use control tactics to push their own agenda to get what they want, and will seek out a Victim. 

Con artists will stalk anyone whose weaknesses or strengths can be used to their own advantage. Scan through the character traits below, and you will see the con artist’s menu of people I have loved. As far as they are concerned any character trait can be exploited and manipulated once your needs have been established. You call it Love Con Artists call it opportunities. No one is immune, yet I believe teenagers and some men/women in their 20's are probably more vulnerable.

From the very moment, a Master Manipulator targets you; their entire arsenal of psychological exploitation is brought into play. You are moved from a position of control to one of no control over anything at all. Manipulators can move into the position of supreme dominance, regardless of how powerful you may think you are in real life. 

How is this possible you may ask, because you are the only character in the situation that does not have a clue as to what is really about to happen. No one has given you a script to follow. The only choice given you is to react to what the other players are saying and doing.

Reality is gone; you just do not know it yet. The game of Smoke and mirrors begins.

When you can obtain enough inner peace and feel positive about yourself, it is almost impossible for you to be controlled or manipulated by anyone else. Especially for the sake of LOVE.

There are many definitions of Love, I believe that True Love, does not depend on sexual pleasure, nor does it depend on Blood Ties. In order to find True Love you must know immediately upfront if the person, you just met, agrees with your definition of “What Love is.” That is if you are looking for Love, I stopped looking years ago, most because I could not find another soul who agrees with me on what love should be.

Okay come on now, I know you are thinking that sounds sad. For me it is okay never finding True Love, maybe I should change the terminology and call it Ideal Love. I am bestowing more love onto myself and not focusing too much on anyone else.  

Moving right along:

However, Masters of Manipulation can be your partner, your parents, or even your own children. I have had to turn your back on several people in my life for the games they play with my sanity, including one of my Daughters and an Adult grandson.

When someone close to you or in a situation of power [sometimes in loving someone, we will give them power] begins the game of manipulation there should be a gut feeling that all is not right for you. Giving over your inner power suggests that you do something against your will; you can find yourself feeling helpless to comply because you love this person. Maybe you feel they are forcing you to choose between them or what you know in your heart goes against what you believe goes against the grain of humanity. 

How often do you experience or hear of people who seem to have been blackmailed into accepting life-changing decisions (such as choice of education, career, and/or marriage partner), because their parents, partners, bosses, best friends, or even children thought it was best for them.

In any human and social relationship there is bound to be some level of manipulation. The trick is to recognize it as quickly as possible and ensure that you are neither a manipulator nor being manipulated, as this represents a dysfunctional relationship. 

It has taken me years to wake up and smell the coffee because I was manipulated by my parents and did not recognize the personality traits of my first husband (at age 14) or other people in my life. I believe that mentally and physically abused children face adulthood with many disadvantages. As a result, I was unable to recognize the game, until I almost lost my life rebelling against being controlled. Maybe I should say I grew up and decided not to take it anymore. If that meant I would be alone, or even unloved, so be it.

Manipulators are good listeners, when they hear of your plight to escape an abusive relationship, they are about to pull you in to their own abusive relationship.

What exactly is manipulation? 

The late Dr. Braiker, an American clinical psychologist, management consultant and author of “Who’s Pulling Your Strings“ and “How to Break The Cycle of Manipulation“ defined psychological manipulation as a kind of social influence – when one person (the manipulator) tries to change the perception or behavior of another through exploitative, underhanded, deceptive, or even abusive tactics. 

According to Dr. Braiker, an authority on stress states, Americans on the whole have shown remarkable “surface resiliency” in carrying on with their daily lives in the short- and long-term aftermath of the September 11 attacks. 

However, she voices concern about the levels of anxiety that lurk beneath the surface, and takes the Bush Administration to task for actively contributing to that nervousness – “keeping us on a shaky footing for reasons known only to the White House” – and not taking obvious steps to alleviate it. 

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Today is October 13, 2013 and this is the second time, Barrack Obama as President, has the Country under siege and mass protesting looms on the horizon. Manipulating masses of people is a very dangerous obsession. History shows most Master Manipulators in charge Political Power have not fared well. No love loss there.

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Positive reinforcement used by Manipulators: Includes but is not limited to, praise, superficial charm, superficial sympathy (crocodile tears), excessive apologizing, money, approval, gifts, attention, facial expressions such as a forced laugh or smile, and public recognition. 

Negative reinforcement: Includes nagging, yelling, the silent treatment, intimidation, threats, swearing, emotional blackmail, the guilt trap, sulking, crying, and playing the victim of the rest of the world.

Most used Punishment of the Manipulator: Withdrawing love and support. One of the most popular terms used by loved ones to manipulate is, “I love you, BUT”. Alternatively “I would love you, IF”. If or but should not be a tag word that follows “I love you”. I LOVE YOU PERIOD.

Traumatic trial techniques of a Manipulator include using verbal abuse, explosive anger, or other intimidating behavior, to establish dominance or superiority over their Victim. 

Why People choose to be manipulative: According to clinical psychologist Dr George Simon, leading expert on manipulators and other disturbed human characteristics, [Manipulative-people .  com], states that Manipulators in many ways are dysfunctional people who conceal aggressive intentions and behaviors. They learn the psychological vulnerabilities of their victim to determine what tactics are likely to be the most effective, and they have a sufficient level of ruthlessness to have no qualms about causing physical or psychological harm to their victim if necessary.

Manipulators also need to advance their own purposes and their own gain, even at virtually any cost to others. They need to attain feelings of power, and superiority in relationships with others and need to feel in control at all times, even if the situation seems petty.

How do you tell if someone is a manipulator? On the other hand, if you yourself have manipulative tendencies? There are many methods. As you go through the list, see if you recognize any of them:

• Lying: It is hard to tell if somebody is lying at the time, although often the truth may be apparent later when it is too late. One way to minimize the chances of being lied to is to understand that some personality types (particularly psychopaths and sociopaths) are experts at the art of lying, and cheating, and they do it frequently, sometimes in subtle ways.

• Lying by omission: This is a very subtle form of lying by withholding a significant amount of the truth. This technique is also used in propaganda.

• Denial: The manipulator refuses to admit that he or she has done something wrong.

• Rationalization: A multitude of excuses made by the manipulator to defend inappropriate behavior. 

• Minimization: This is a type of denial coupled with rationalization. The manipulator asserts that his/her behavior is not as harmful or irresponsible as someone else was suggesting – for example saying that a taunt or insult was only a joke. Joking at someone else’s expense in now termed “ A Bully” and exposing these behaviors early in life may save many unsuspecting  Victims from a lifetime of being Victimized.

• Selective Attention or lack of attention: The manipulator refuses to pay attention to anything that may distract from his/her agenda, saying things like “I don't want to hear it.”

• Diversion: The manipulator does not give a straight answer to a straight question and instead will maneuver the conversation onto another topic.

• Evasion: Similar to diversion but giving irrelevant, rambling, vague, and weak responses. (Baffling someone with bullshit)

• Covert Intimidation: The manipulator throwing the victim on the defensive by using veiled (subtle, indirect, or implied) threats. Masters Manipulators will initiate petty fights in order to exerciser their position over their intended victim.

• Guilt Tripping: OMG I hated this one. This is a special kind of intimidation tactic. A manipulator suggests to the careful Victim that he/she does not care enough, is too selfish or has it easy. This usually results in the victim feeling bad, keeping them in a self-doubting, anxious and submissive position.

• Shaming: The manipulator uses sarcasm and put-downs to increase fear and self-doubt in the victim. Manipulators use this tactic to make others feel unworthy and therefore put off the Victim. Shaming tactics can be very subtle such as a fierce look or glance, unpleasant tone of voice, abstract comments, and/or subtle sarcasm.

Manipulators can make one feel ashamed for even daring to challenge them. It is an effective way to foster a sense of inadequacy in the victim.

• Playing the victim role (“poor me”): The manipulator portrays himself/herself as a victim of circumstance or of someone else’s behavior in order to gain pity, sympathy or evoke compassion and thereby get something from you. Caring and conscientious people cannot stand to see anyone suffering and the manipulator often finds it easy to play on sympathy to get cooperation in the beginning. 

Skilled Manipulators can switch this on and off frequently. Probably a sign of Bi- Polar Disorder. I am sure I have dealt with quite the variety, of many Bi-Polar individuals in my Life.

• Blaming the victim: More than any other, this tactic is a powerful means of putting the victim on the defensive while simultaneously masking the aggressive intent of the manipulator.

• Playing the servant role: Cloaking their self-serving agenda in appearance of a service to a more noble cause. For example saying, he is acting in a certain way for ‘obedience’ and ‘service’ to God or a similar supreme authority figure.

• Seduction: The manipulator uses charm, praise, flattery or overtly supports others, in order to get a Victim to lower their defenses, and give their trust and loyalty to him/her.

• Projecting the blame (blaming others): The manipulator often finds scapegoats, in subtle, hard-to-detect ways.

• Pretending innocence: The manipulator tries to suggest that any harm done was unintentional or they did not do something that they were accused of “on purpose”. The manipulator may put on a look of surprise or stance of indignation. This tactic makes the Victim question their own judgment, and possibly their own sanity.

• Pretending confusion: The manipulator tries to play dumb by pretending he/she does not know what you are talking about, or is confused about an important issue brought to their attention.

• Brandishing anger: The manipulator uses anger to brandish sufficient emotional intensity and rage to shock their Victim into submission. The manipulator is not actually angry; he/she just puts on an act. They just want what they want and display anger when denied. Most likely, these temper tantrums and other traits served them well as children, so they honed the skill and carried it into their adult lives. 

On the other hand brandishing anger can result in actual physical abuse when the Manipulator feels cornered by confrontation. You are in a dangerous situation if your manipulator resorts to violence to keep you controlled.

It would be hard to believe that there is anyone who has not succumbed to the “vulnerability to manipulation” at one time or another. Our children learn very early how to get what they want.  

The tragedy of being manipulated lies in loving someone and therefore being in denial, although your gut tells you that you are flat out being used (again). Being mentally, emotionally, physically and/or financially used will cause devastation in our lives. It causes many people to become cold or uncaring. It may quite possibly be necessary at one point or another to learn negatively how to become the Manipulator instead of being the Victim ever again.

Escaping my first marriage took years of planning; all the while, I knew my life was in danger. I had to become submissive and compliant to every whim, in order not to survive. Standing your ground or fighting for your freedom does not work, if the manipulator becomes violent.

Personally, I am refusing to be the victim anymore, but I certainly never want to be a Manipulator. The personality trait, disgusts me and I am sure I can finally see it coming a mile away.

Emotion- phobia; or fear of negative emotion "Emotions like grief, fear and despair are as much a part of the human condition as love, awe and joy,"

They are our natural and inevitable responses to existence, so long as loss, vulnerability and violence come with the territory of being human. 

These are the dark emotions, by dark; I do not necessarily believe that they are bad, harmful or pathological. I mean that as a culture we have kept these emotions “In the Dark” as shameful, secretive and unseen. I hold onto my emotion- phobias as a reminder to keep what little life I may have left, safe. 

Emotion-phobia distances us from the energies of negative emotions and tells us they are untrustworthy, dangerous and destructive. Like other traits our culture distrusts and devalues-vulnerability. For instance, dependence- emotionalism is associated with weakness, mostly directed at women and children. We tend to regard these painful emotions as signs of being psychologically fragile, a mental disorder or a spiritual defect. 

We may suppress, intellectualize, judge or deny negative emotions. We may use our spiritual beliefs or practices to bypass reality. However, I have dealt with of very serious Church going folks who will try to gut you when they believe no one else is watching.

Few of us learn how to experience the dark emotions to the core of our being, with awareness of what is really happening around us.  Therefore, many people end up experiencing the negative energies in a displaced, neurotic or dangerous form. Keeping very calm during a negative storm of emotions, is a key to survival, if we intend to change our environment. To coin a phrase "This Storm To Shall Pass"

Becoming swallowed up by negative emotions, may cause some to act out impulsively. They become addicted to a variety of substances and/or activities. Alternatively, we become depressed, anxious or emotionally numb. 

Aborted dark emotions may be at the root of the millennium's psychological disorders. However, it is not the emotions themselves that can be the problem; it is our inability to tolerate them mindfully. 

Everyone has triggers. Situations that trigger uncomfortable emotions to the extreme are patients like me with PTSD. However, we should all learn our triggers no mater how slight. Learning to know ourselves is more valuable a life lesson than getting to know anyone else.

Every dark emotion has a value and purpose. There are no un-acceptable negative emotions. There are only negative attitudes towards those emotions we find hard to tolerate. There can be negative consequences of denying them, or acting out on them before taking a moment to explore the feelings.  Just Breathe… Don't Jump

The emotions we call "negative" are energies that are meant to get our attention. Negativity asks for our expression, it transmits information and compels us to take action. Just Breathe… Don't Jump

Grief tells us that all humans are interconnected in the web of life, and what connects us can break our hearts. I have held onto my grief for seventeen years, it keeps my son alive in my heart. During the times of year when families gather to celebrate occasions from Birthdays to Thanksgiving can accelerate grief, especially if others have moved on from the death of a loved one. The most devastating grief is the loss of a son or daughter.

Fear alerts us to protect and sustain life. Despair asks us to grieve our losses, to examine and transform the meaning of our lives, to repair our broken souls. Each of these emotions is purposeful and useful-if we know how to listen to them (ourselves) closely. 

However, grief seems to be barely tolerated by our culture, even less are fear and despair. The mere fact is we are all afraid and act as if we are not still grieving after the appropriate allowable timetable.  

Once I was actually told by a Behavioral Science Counselor to "Get over Myself" during a very stressful time in my life. Whoa! I mistakenly agreed to have a male counselor. I think he was in the wrong profession, or at least had no clue how to deal with a hysterical woman. Well I got over it all right; I got up and walked out, knowing I would never engage in a battle of wits with a man again. Sorry people I am sure men are not alike, I am only speaking from personal experience here.

Some may fear the sheer vulnerability of our existence; we may even fear life's unpredictability. When we are unable to feel our fear mindfully, we may turn it into anger, psychosomatic ailments, or a host of other "anxiety disorders". Displacements of fears we cannot feel or name may very well be the root of psychosis. 

Then there are those around us, who just become shop-alcoholics, overindulging in consumerism to mask emotions and fear, thus avoiding what is reality. These people seem to rear their heads around Christmas time. They may aggressively demand specialized gift they feel they are deserving of, without regard to weather or not the giver has the funds to produce such gifts.

According to experts, some 50 million people in this country suffer from phobias at some point in their lives, and millions more are diagnosed with other anxiety disorders. One reason is that we have lost touch with the actual experience of primal, natural fear. 

When fear is numbed, we learn little about what it is for its inherent usefulness as an alarm system that we ignore at our own peril. Numbed of fear is especially dangerous when it becomes an unconscious source of vengeance, violence and other destructive acts. We see this acted out on the world stage as much as in the individual mind.

As for despair, how many among us have not experienced periods of feeling empty, desolate, hopeless, brooding over the darkness in our world? This is the landscape of despair. This brings me to: Emotional manipulation

Emotional manipulation is very common; emotional blackmail is a powerful form of manipulation in which Blackmailers who are close to the victims threaten, either directly or indirectly, to punish them to get what they want. They may know the victim’s vulnerabilities and their deepest secret emotions. They could be your parents, partners, friends or lovers. No matter how much the Blackmailer cares about the victim, they use this intimate knowledge to win over the Victim's compliance.

Knowing that the Victim wants love or approval, Blackmailers threaten to withhold it or take it away altogether, or make the victim feel they must earn it. If the Victim believes the Blackmailer, they could fall into a pattern of letting the Blackmailer control all their decisions and behavior. 

Emotional Blackmailers use fear, obligation, and guilt trips in their relationships, ensuring that the Victim feels afraid to cross them, obligated to give them their way and feeling guilty if they do not.

Are you being manipulated? Recognize the first signs:

How do you feel when the person is around you? 

Do you often feel guilty or humiliated in their company? 

Do they make you feel inferior when you are with a group of people? 

Many manipulators are not confident enough for emotional manipulation when in public or in company of strangers, and that is why it is so common in marriages and partner relationships. When you are alone with your partner, do you argue over who said what and what they meant? Are you falsely accused of acting certain ways in public? The manipulator must always keep their victim in check, and be assured they do not stray too far from the realm. 

Both my father and my first husband controlled whom I engaged in conversation. First the hard stare of warning, then came the accusations that my motives for talking to this person or that person were suspicious. Therefore, I came to believe it was hopeless to talk to anyone. One of the biggest fears of the Manipulators is that you discuss how you feel about your relationship with them.

Emotional manipulation often involves denial that something was said or done, so that you feel guilty for doing something wrong, saying something wrong or not doing enough. Additionally, if you are experiencing emotional manipulation, then you might notice a difference in how you feel within yourself. Trust me if this is happening to you: Nothing you say or do will ever be enough for the manipulator, the key to their success is sucking away every last drop of your self-esteem. 

Have you ever felt relieved when someone else comes to stay in your home, because it means you do not have to deal with your manipulator by yourself?

Dealing with emotional manipulation

Journalism: writing down your thoughts and feelings is a helpful tool, specifically if you have a busy life and little time to concentrate on your own feelings. However, it may be vital to keep your journal hidden from anyone you feel is manipulating your life or makes you feel like you are not worthy.

• Conflict: the first sign: Relationships with manipulators are generally conflict-ridden. It is sometimes difficult to know that you are being manipulated. However, with time, your frustration with this person grows and you know that something must be wrong with the relationship. You may feel drawn and repulsed by the manipulator at the same time, especially when the manipulator is a Parent Figure in your life or a spouse you have created children. These bonds can be hard to break.

• Awareness: of your own emotions within a relationship: Your own emotions are your best tool for sensing that there is a problem between you and the other person. Carrying a big mixed bag of emotions is a heavy burden to bear and you could quite possibly loose yourself. If you are feeling overwhelmed, examine the situation with a fine toothcomb. First, analyze yourself, discover if you feel defensive, guilty, angry, or sympathy towards the other person. 

• Define your emotion and understand the patterns: When you think about what happens between you and the manipulator, describe the emotions that you are feeling. Put your feelings into words. What specifically was said that led you to a certain feeling? How did you respond at the time? What was the effect of your response? You may want to write these down in your journal to keep track of the triggers or how often you spin the same circles in a relationship. Keeping a Journal literally saved my life.

• Ask yourself whether you want to continue with the relationship or not. It might be in your best interest to terminate it, or else place specific boundaries around it (like limiting time with the other person). Some relationships cannot, or should not, be terminated unless there is a pattern of abuse. This is especially true of relationships with parents, siblings and children. However, in my case it was in my best interest to separate myself completely in order to find stable ground. I felt insane from the mind-boggling manipulation games that reside in my bloodline. In there lies a question of personality traits that are passed through DNA for generations. 

On the other hand, "The Art of Manipulation" may not be passed through DNA; however, it sure is a learned trait within many in my family structures. Quoted by my Father to his children “You are either the Fucker or the Fuckee”. My older brother, tried to live both sides of that coin and ended up committing suicide at age 45. I became the people pleaser (fuckee) and my younger sister; well she honed her skills to make her Daddy proud with a clever Christian facade.  I always thought of her; if she thought you swallowed a gold coin, she would gut you, when no one was watching, to get it. We have not spoken in more than 15 years and I do not intend to allow her back into my life. A relationship with her is not healthy for me; I am no match for her deceptions.

Whenever a manipulation attempt occurs, it is best point it out to the other person immediately. This is a quick way of taking control of the manipulation. 

There is no real need to express anger when you give the manipulator feedback about your uncomfortable feelings. Be assertive and perfectly calm. Take a few deep breaths before the approach. If you believe that you can change the behavior of a manipulator, you are sadly mistaken.

When confronted the manipulator might come back with a guilt trip or an angry response. You could say, “I am not comfortable about the way I am feeling. I would like a healthy interaction between us, so could you try to say what you need to say in a more positive and direct way. So that I am not feeling confused by you". If the other person continues to keep you confused, Get away from the relationship and take some time to sort out your feelings, in a peaceful, drama free environment. Get a Restraining Order if necessary. 

In many ways, the goal is to begin with strengthening yourself and taking charge of your life. Cowards often use emotional manipulation techniques. They cannot do direct combat so they usually resort to sneaky ways to get you to do what they want. Empowering yourself with knowledge is a surefire way of not being abused or used.

Mind Control - The Art of Manipulation

Even from ancient times, people had to learn the art of manipulation in order to face and be ready to deceive their enemy. 

Sometimes it is quite frustrating to see that more and more people consider that in order to manipulate someone you have to know magic and stuff like that. I would like to end this myth finally. It is all just a matter of knowledge, commitment and willpower in order to practice hard and make manipulation work. 

Yes, manipulation is science, but it can also be considered an art. Just like martial arts. The science to fight expressed in various forms that can be interpreted as arts of the past and present times. 

If you know how something is done, and how it can happen, my goal here is that you will not fall prey to it. In the dance of passion, Men and Woman can both display manipulation techniques.

So let us destroy the myth and the illusion that only those in a few secret societies can and do have access to the knowledge and practice of manipulation. As human beings, we are capable and have the power to liberate ourselves from mental slavery.

However what is interesting, is that more often than not, people do not realize that it is been done to them and they tend to fall for it. The art of manipulating people has now-a-days has become to be known as social engineering. It is a very subtle process of getting an idea into an individual’s head and making them fill your wish. It is definitely not recommended to practice on your acquaintances, but to watch out for, and not fall prey.

Be Cautious of Social Engineering, which could just seem like sophisticated jargon in the modern-day world, However it has been around for quite some time. It also goes against the fact of Free Will because in this case, one person applies their free will to their own advantage, while the other succumbs to it; often the Victim is caught unaware. 

No matter how skillful a manipulator is, you can save yourself from such situations by making sure your instinct is working in harmony with your mind, your heart and your gut feelings. You can learn to be on guard against such manipulators. 

Manipulators prey on their victims. If you have a friend, family member, or even an enemy who is a master manipulator, you should study this person and even take notes to see how they always manage to get what they want from their Victims. Learn to read people and trust your own instincts. 

I have had several employment situations that required me to learn body language of those around me. It was taught to me in seminars from Sales Positions to Educational Admission Representatives over a couple of decades. At the time, I did not realize the value of using body language to analyze people in my personal life.

Every person has a different emotional or psychological makeup and most likely has been manipulated for different reasons at one time or another. Greed, power, control or just plain evil individuals sharpen their skills as Manipulators and have hurt, even destroyed many people in their lives. 

Not all Manipulation is done with evil intentions. A little dose taken or given now and then is OK. However, if it is changing you, consuming you and overwhelming you, Please recognize it for what it is. 

It has been said the “Eyes are the window to the soul.” In addition, they certainly are worth paying attention to. I have made it a habit of watching for three distinct eye behaviors, when I am one on one with another person. There are those who can look me straight in the eye and tell a bold-faced lie. Once this happens to me I exit the relationship, immediately. Trust is violated. Eye to eye, contact can only be maintained in a trusting environment. 

When observing someone I must interact with I watch the eyes closely. If the other person is looking at my mouth, I believe they hear what I am saying. If I have to continually, repeat myself. Trust is lost. 

Then there are the people whose eyes wander about me, for example the guy looking at your boobs. Okay well he probably has a one-track mind. Most importantly, I become concerned with the eyes that wander about me physically as I am speaking, these situations cause me not to Trust them. I feel as though they are judging me based on my appearance, weather it be my hairstyle or my wardrobe choice. Trust gets lost because I feel as though they are looking for ammunition to backstab me with later.

Last, but not least, are the eyes that are bouncing all over the place, like a two-year-old child. I will back up about four feet from these types of people, and feel for my weapon. I know of no other reason to back away quickly from these people, because experience has taught me that they are  either "On Something" they have consumed a fist full of illicit drugs or on the verge of a psychological breakdown. I had to seriously cut these types of people (family members) out of my life. I am not capable of dealing with such dysfunctional behavior ever again. I leave that to the Professionals. 

Seek help before you are too deep in the Relationship. Alternatively, you may need to battle to keep your own sanity. Survive: there is a big difference between a Victim who continues to Survive and the ones who did not. There is no shame in asking for professional help.

This year I was blessed with a Behavioral Science Professional, who no matter who I was for the moments, during our appointments, gave me permission to be who I am without judgment. On my last visit, she told me she was being promoted and although I will miss her, she gave me the strength and encouragement to just keep moving forward. She weathered some big Storms with me. ♥ U Edyth and wish you well always.

Break the chains that bind you and become who you are meant to be. you may not know who that is yet, but keep moving forward and find yourself ♥ GG